the quiet days

Yellowcraig + John Muir Country Park, 24 - 26 December

We’re not big festive people here. That’s always been true, but in the last few years we’ve stepped aside from the buzz and expectations of the Christmas season (no presents, no decorations, no cards) to simply enjoy the simplicity of being outdoors, and being together. Christmas has been about the four of us going for long walks followed by car picnics as darkness fell, paws and hands slowly thawing with steaming mugs of tea for us and chews for the lads, and evenings on the sofa, Harris and Bracken asleep between us.

And this year we’ve done the same, as a three. We’ve had coastal walks, we watched a few movies - including the must-see Past Lives from director Celine Song, which instantly became one of my favourite films of recent years - and we finished season nine of Shetland (though I’m still missing Jimmy Perez and may need to return to season one and start all over again).

This was Raf’s first Christmas with us, and that felt special and also emotional as we remembered last year and what was to be our last Christmas with Bracken. In a sense this has been our year: new hope and happiness, and loss and sadness, side by side, intertwined through these weeks and months.

It was breezy on Christmas Eve as we wound along the dunes at Yellowcraig and then down onto the shore at low tide, and surprisingly mild too, the sky looking moody before this glorious burst of pink washed across the clouds as the light faded. We walked along the shore, listening to the sound of the waves, watching the light reflected in the pools of water and across the rippled sand, as Raf ran and ran, his paws fast and light as he darted across the beach. It was a time of happiness, thankfulness, and also remembrance.

On Christmas Day we headed to John Muir Country Park - a Christmas Day tradition for a few years with the lads. It was another beautiful and blustery day. Raf was on edge as there were more people around and so we were constantly having to dart off the paths or head into the long grass - literally - to avoid other walkers, trying and failing to keep his anxiety under threshold. I took a few videos (I’ve still to share reels from these walks) and only a handful of photos as the light faded so quickly.

We headed back to John Muir Country Park on Boxing Day, starting our walk on Belhaven beach. This wasn’t the plan, but after the previous day’s walk, and realising that Boxing Day would be even busier, we also realised that the coastal route from Gullane towards Eyebroughy would be far too triggering for Raf as the starting point at Gullane would be really busy. So we came back here. While these photos look so calm with this big painterly sky hovering over this gentle sea, again, Raf wasn’t calm, and I in turn felt triggered by his anxiety. It wasn't an easy walk or a particularly enjoyable one, but I found some quietness within these photos. And the further we walked, and as the light faded, there were less people around and Raf settled. On these reactive walks, we just have to keep on going until it gets dark enough for most people to have headed home, and then we get to exhale for a bit.

So these were quiet days, but also not always quiet. They were days that reminded us of our walks with the lads when there was no reactivity or stress. They were days that carried anxiety and frustration. But, also, these were days where we walked below big skies and felt glad to be outdoors, together. And that was enough for these non-festive days of Christmas.

Yellowcraig + John Muir Country Park, East Lothian, 22, 25 and 26 December 2024.

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